Why I Hate Halloween

So I've been awful at this whole keeping a blog thing, I doubt anyone cares though. But I will make a post today of why as a retail pharmacy technician I really hate Halloween.

First I work at a discount retailer won't say which, but we have a hefty halloween section right in my line of sight. I saw so many girls in slutty costumes I wanted to burn out my retinas because most of them had no business being in them. Plus everyone would like thier recreational drugs (also why I dislike New Year's Eve). It's sad when our supplier knows to send us two extra cases of Sudafed 24 Hour in preparation for the fantastic holiday weekend. Note: Meth users don't think you fool us when you come in line saying your buying for your grandma (which is illegal to purchase for anyone but a minor, opposite of alcohol huh), or when you come in line with the sniffles I will send you to the Benadryl faster than you can blink. And we know that hardly anyone in my area (redneck city) with no teeth would be caught dead buying name-brand Sudafed unless it was for the meth. Science quiestion: Why is the Sudafed 24 Hour the preferred pseudoephedrine product for meth users?
A: Because Sudafed 24 Hour puts the most pseudoephedrine in each tablet, meaning more pseudoephedrine in each tablet meaning less filler and garbage the meth maker has to get rid of in the process, meaning a simpler work-up and a higher percent yield (aka less likely to blow up house and more drugs with less shit to dispose of.)

But I digress, because not only do the customers come in cracked out but apparently so do some of the other employees at the store. Woman who works there, we call her Gustapo because she is in charge of the door and will stop little old grandmas with a case Boost because it's not in a bag. Well Gustapo has a lazy eye and is a little bit batty, classic old maid though somehow she reproduced, jury is still out on how the heck that happened. But she comes to work in a wedding dress, veil and all. And not a conservative one either, things that make you go blahhhhhhhh.

Back to recreational drug use, this happened to our newest pharmacy tech (let's call her Eva) and we shall tease her about it relentlessly. A wife comes in for the family meds, and on that list is her husband's Viagra. Which all of the ED medications are quite pricey, and so Eva tells her the cost and the wife asked which one cost so much. Eva says the Viagra is the biggie, and the wife says, "for that price it better be!" Sorry to disappoint you lady but Viagra just makes it go up, not grow up.

Thus ends my "Why I hate Halloween" post, tune in next year when I might possibly have another post.

Again with the delayed post

This post is going to be short. I'm going to share with you guys a true story from a customer at the pharmacy yesterday.

"Where is your generic Tylenol?" -customer, I replied with the location.
"Sorry I meant Nyquil" again I replied with the location.
"Why is the Nyquil there?"
"That is our cough and cold aisle". I thought that would end the conversation.
"But why is Nyquil in the cough and cold aisle?" Those of you that know anything about medications will know that Nyquil is the knock you out make you feel happy when you have a cold medicine. Very widely used, very widely publicized.
Customer tried to save face, "Yes, but when you have a cold don't you have aches and pains?" "Sometimes, there's a pain reliever in Nyquil." I said, mind you this entire conversation I am being a girl and multitasking. I am also dropping and typing scripts, but paying complete attention to the customer, answering his questions as polite as can be when I really want to shout, "You're a f**king retard stop wasting my time."
Customer throws tantrum, complains to my pharmacist that I don't know what I am talking about and that I was rude. Mind you I have witnesses to my sickening politeness. Anyway I am still there working on my stuff and listening to this guy berate me for being an idiot. I was fuming, I wanted to throw something. He left in a huff, pharmacist turned to me and asked "How the hell did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Not jump over the counter and punch that guy?"
"I've worked here for 3.5 years, if I punched every stupid a-hole that acted like that I would face jail time." Oh the joys of working at a pharmacy, it's days like today that I don't even mind the 25,000 in debt. I would still rather have that then spend the rest of my life as a pharmacist because it pays well.

Which leads me to my advice for tonight, don't pick a career that will make you tons of money, but your miserable everyday. Because money isn't everything, happiness is everything.

A post on how stupid people can be

A patient came to the consultation window to ask the pharmacist a question. The pharmacist was on the phone taking call-in scripts off of our voicemail. They will be in on the phone awhile. Patient didn't want to wait so she just asked me her question. I love being a second choice, she had a box of suppositories in her hands. "Now, honey it says to insert these rectally. What is a rectally?" No lie, I explain that it means your rectum. "What's a rectum?" Your anus "What's my anus" the butthole "I got three holes down there honey which one do you mean?" The one in the far back "My asshole? Why didn't you say that in the first place" And she walked off like I was the dumb one.

I am in the midst of hell in my life, so I figured I should at least talk about someone who has it worse than me. Because I don't have to shove anything up my ass.

I'm tired

Today's post will be short and rather brainless on my part because I am tired and I am doing my best to keep my post a day promise.

Life at the pharmacy:
Two lesbians come up to the consultation window. They say they're going to Texas to get a sperm donation.Lesbian 1: "Will saline solution keep sperm alive?" Pharmacist: "No it will probably kill them." Lesbian 2: "Oh okay, would you think a medicine dropper work for implanting the little guys?" Pharmacist: "Probably not, I would suggest a turkey baster."After lesbians walk away. Pharmacist: "Suck it up and have sex with the guy it'll be over in 10 minutes and all you have to do is lie there."

That is a true story that my pharmacist told me a few years back. There are many more where that come from.